Christmas Proposal: A Poem

They think you're going to ask tonight
They think the time is not just right
But perfect for you to propose
What do they know?
We've been together for a while
We're stable; it's true
Marriage seems like the thing to do
Normally I'm a fan of pageantry
And originally, I was drawn to your gallantry
But please, don't give it a thought
Just show me the presents you bought

A Christmas Day proposal
Is a tad predictable
And I'm sure will be the spectacle
When you lead me over
To the Christmas tree
Put a ring on my finger
And tell me you love me

I don't want you to get down on one knee
I don't want to be the angel on your tree
Put that mistletoe away
I have something I need to say
And I shouldn't have waited until Christmas Day
I shouldn't have let this go on so long
Once again, I've done it all wrong

Everything was going fine
There were no warning signs
Maybe I loved you in my way
You know I'm not for sweet and sappy
And I was content
If not completely happy
You've always been as generous
As you can afford to be
And I've taken everything
You've ever given me
Maybe I shouldn't have
Did we mistake that for true love?

You're the kind of guy
Whose idea of a good surprise
Is a brand new car in the driveway
On Christmas morning with a big red bow on top
(I wonder how much extra that cost)
But a big gesture like that
Is enough to make me claustrophobic
Tied down to a thing I didn't get to choose
It might be a gift, but it's all about you

With you, life feels so rehearsed
The expected back and forth
Of chorus and verse
You act with the best intentions
But there's not much invention with you
The things we do feel like what we're supposed to do
Checking things off a list
Making sure there's nothing we've missed
Even if we're not particularly enthused

You say I'm your present
But I'm not that kind
I'm present in the sense of time
Happening now, not to be saved
For a specific calendar date
Not to be tied down
With a fancy bit of ribbon
Or a sparkly diamond ring
It was fun for a while
But I don't want any of the things
That forever with you would bring

I'm sorry to ruin your Christmas Day
But please listen to what I have to say
Put that mistletoe away
Don't get down on your knee
Don't ask to marry me
Don't view me as the angel on your tree
I'm sorry, but I need to be free